sorrythanks

by mary is

/
1.
i am slight and fragile im a bird with no wings they’re always throwing bread crumbs and it’s littering the streets i always picked the thimble in a game of monopoly maybe some sort of symbol a protection from what life was sewing and it seems so simple but it’s really hard to grow when it seems your body’s fighting against you and you keep attracting harm i am slight and fragile im a bird with no wings i bite my pinky finger in my early bird deep sleep and oh what it means to wake from dreams the words we sing oh just to keep memories of stronger things oh what do you see see in me i see a bird skeleton i try to disagree i try to be, just be
2.
i wanna wake to find the days feel like they did when i was a younger, a little less sad, maybe still unsure, but not so desensitized i wanna wake to find the shrine that i made for the flower when it died taped up on the wall with the drawing of us and a wilted petal, i still felt i was alive rose petal shine u are a symbol of what once was mine when i would say the world is soft and i’m okay rose petal shrine ur a reflection of a kinder time want to say i should never have thrown u away
3.
light blue 02:34
cover me in blankets she said my hair looked like a rat’s nest i don’t need a pillow cuz i’m living as a headrest i don’t need a jacket and no i can’t believe u did that i think about your question even though you never asked it and you know it’s not that cold maybe i’ll paint all these walls gold or tear each one apart or crawl inside and become mold maybe someday it will get less blue i’ll remember i’ll be with you and on somedays i almost see the world i used to the one that smelled of coffee dunk my head underwater couldn’t swim, why would i bother coughing up the chlorine i shrink, it all gets taller in pictures of train stations the world was mine to play in you ask me to speak up because you cant hear what im saying im looking at my shoes tie the laces in a noose “would you like to go oustide now” sorry, please, no thank you maybe someday it will get less blue i’ll remember i’ll be with you and on somedays i almost see the world i used to but i don’t like coffee
4.
within 01:36
what did you see in the clouds when you were young what words did you not speak that are now trapped beneath your tongue my shadow is beside me like she always was before she whispers something silent and then melts into the floor what does she say to me what does she need she’s reaching out within me who is she what did you hear on your morning walk to school what all did you leave at the bottom of the pool the pictures are beside me they lie across the floor she looks at me the same as in the mirror once before what does she say to me what does she need she’s reaching out within me who is she
5.
melting 04:05
looking now it’s kind of sad think outloud it’s not that bad i’ve done some things that’d make u proud i’m just a little stuck right now i have a dog i kiss her nose i still have trouble letting go i’ve had 3 jobs looking for the 4th haven’t found yet what you were hoping for but im finally taking medicine i’ve loved and lost and tried again you and i i fight you might be right it’s been a while but i write it down i think of u when i start to frown i’m not yet where i wanna be but for u i’d do most anything to let you out to let love in to sleep it off and begin again

about

small collection of acoustic songs addressed to my younger self

credits

released February 24, 2018

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mary is Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

songs made in my bedroom. my dog helps sometimes

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